1 part drums, 1 part bass, 2 parts guitar, and a whole lotta awesome

I'm in the studio right now with DOGMATIC working on or new album, (insert title here). It is coming together nicely, a little too nicely. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some catastrophic disaster descended on this recording process to try and stifle the awesomeness in an effort to keep some sort of cosmic balance. If not, then surely some divine being has given us the opportunity to see our embodiment of radness to fruition.

For those of you not "in the know", this is our second album. Our first album, All Static, contained eighteen tracks of punk rock which only took us a matter of days to record and mix. We were thoroughly impressed with ourselves and our ability to capture the magic that is Dogmatic is such a short amount of time.

That was two years ago... we've now come to realize doing a full album as fast as possible is not a means conducive to creating sonic superiority. Ergo, we have been taking a more methodical approach to the construction of the latest record. Taking our time is frustrating when we want the final product so badly we can taste it, but it's for the best.

This time around we have fourteen tasty tracks for your audible pleasure. This album is much more of a "rock" album than our last effort. While you can still hear a punk edge to it, it is less about speed and more about rocking your ears into submission. Several of the finished tracks have already been submitted to a certified rocktician for approval. We have since received the results from the lab indicating 9 out of 10 faces rocked out and the 10th face rocked until it fell off. The rock lab also stated people have a certain attachment to their faces, mainly consisting of soft tissue; therefore, we should place a warning label on the record notifying listeners of the 1 in 10 chance of extreme face rockage to the point of separation from the head portion of the body... facial discretion is advised.

We are on schedule to have all the music completed by the beginning of February. Although, there still remains the issue of the visual aesthetic. This will take us a month at least. Creating album artwork, etc. is a daunting task seemingly more difficult than the creation of the content itself. We don't even have an album name yet! If you have an idea, email it here. If everything goes according to plan (mwa ha ha ha ha!), we should have the album released by the end of Spring.

In the meantime, I suggest you go here to get your face in peak rocking condition.

A steaming helping of new wave, and a side of lame.

Who's bright idea is it to try and bring music back to the eighties? I would like to know so I can track him/her down and pull out their heart through the anus. There must be a mastermind puppeteer pulling the strings of these eighties clones like Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, and Interpol; forcing musicians to reinvent the new wave/art rock wheel. Because who, in their right mind, would want to willingly participate in such a craptacular movement?

Every radio station has their "80's flashback weekend!" and this music would fit right in. It's getting harder and harder to tell who is new and what is over a decade old. Music goes through cycles, but there should be noticeable forward movement with each new generation. What is going to happen next? Am I going to flip on the radio and hear a rehash of "Golden Oldies" on my "cutting edge" stations? I could always just turn off my radio altogether, but the music still finds you. Like a bad stench you can't get away from, it lingers. It permeates all popular media you view. Whether you're at the grocery, shopping mall, or other public retail location; you will be infected by these songs through osmosis. There is no escape from the cacophonous turd that is popular music. If this is where music is headed, then it is going to be a dark place; because the face of music will be up its ass!

Rollin Rollin Rollin...

Every now and then I'll find a game with such innovative play and sheer brilliance it makes me stand up, wipe a tear from my eye, and applaud my television. This weekend I found one of these rare treasures; a little gem eclipsed by all the blockbuster sequels and mega studio productions. I speak of none other than Katamari Damacy for the PS2.

I had heard of this game's existence several times and felt no need to rush out and add it to my collection, but then I thought of Viewtiful Joe. VJ was a game I loved passionately and still do, but no one else seemed have heard about it or gave it due credit. "Could this be another masterpiece of video game art?" I thought. With the game's low price of $20 it didn't hurt to find out.

IT IS! Katamari Damacy is the story of a young prince (green with "T" shaped head and only a few centimeters tall) charged with the task of helping the "King of all Cosmos" replace the absent stars in the sky. This is done by rolling a ball (Katamari) over items until the ball has amassed the desired size of the king. The king then releases your katamari into the sky to create a star.

The brilliance of the title lies in the simplicity of its controls and the scope of the game. Rolling the katamari requires maneuvering the analog sticks... that's it. No button mashing or memorizing controls, just point the sticks in the direction you want to roll and it shall be done.

The scope of the game is so vast, it really is impressive. You must build up your katamari by rolling over items, but your ball must be a certain size before you can roll over larger objects. For example, you would start rolling over small things like thumb tack, dice, and pencils until you've reached a certain size. Then you work your way up to pots, cabbages, toilet paper, etc. It goes on and on. In one level, I began picking up cans of ham and bananas and 20 minutes later I was rolling up whole buildings and mountains.

The sound track also fits with the game perfectly. Anyone who has ever played Jet Set Radio on Dreamcast or Xbox will immediately notice the similar feel of majority of the songs. Every track has the Japanese aesthetic. From the "blip bleep" electronic instruments to the easy listening love songs with lyrics like, "I wanna roll you up into my life...". Almost as addicting as the game play, the game's main theme song will have you singing, "Nah nah nah nah..." all day.

Check out some screenshots and videos of the game in action here.

Katamari Damacy is one of the most original games ever created. If you are not one to buy games that don't have a 3 trillion dollar budget or ad campaign that canvases the globe; expand your gaming horizons and take a chance with this game, you won't be sorry. With the quirky characters, addicting game play, and intuitive controls, this game is a must have for any PS2 owner; and for only $20 it is definitely a bargain.

Snack Time!

Peanut Butter Pretzels: How the creator of this culinary masterpiece thought to encapsulate creamy peanut butter within a pretzel shell might never be known, but I’m sure it had something to do with Beelzebub himself. Only in exchange for one’s soul could any human possibly gain access to the esoteric recipes of Hades.

Each time I bite into one of these nuggets of magic I’m filled with a sense of joy, like the joy I receive from witnessing a telemarketer being punched in the throat. The aftertaste of this confection is as if I opened my mouth and a rainbow beamed in. If I were to nominate a food for the “Best Food on Earth” award (assuming Pizza, Spaghetti, and Burritos were disqualified due to steroid use), I would place PB&Pretzels right behind my nomination for Frunkleghettizza, the best food known to the human race developed and unleashed in the year 2035.

It's finally over... No wait

If you've ever played Metal Gear Solid then I'm sure you are familiar with the title above. MGS is known for several things: stealth action, good visuals, cinematic presentation, and the enumeration of plot twists which leave you saying, "huh?"

If you were a fan of the previous installments of the series then you are human; however, if you can summarize the entire plot of the series in under five hours, then you are no mere mortal. Hideo Kojima and company have managed to somehow create another story line in the MGS universe even more convoluted than its predecessor; Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater.

I tried to follow along.. oh how I tried, but Kojima's boat of continuity was just a shadow on the horizon as I was left to drown in the sea of confusion. Just when I thought I had a grasp on the story, it seemed that Snake Eater would say, "Um... I don't think so."

For the twenty or so hours I spent playing MGS:SE, it was a lot of the same: hiding in tall grass, hiding in short grass, hiding behind trees, hiding in trees. While this may seem like a dream come true if you are Ted Nugent, there was definitely something left to be desired.

The team behind MGS:SE did a great job with the addition of the food, first aid, and camouflage system; however, the same amount of attention should have been paid to the action. I'll explain... the action consists of a lot of trial and error. One level in particular I spent 30 minutes trying numerous times to gain entry to a heavily guarded building. I would attempt a route, be detected, killed, and start again. Try another route, become a target, die, and try again... starting to get the picture?

Another issue is the balance. While the camouflage is a great innovation, I'd rather not spend every five minutes worrying about whether I should be wearing the "tree bark" or the "forest" camo. The pacing is also a problem, having to pause the game and enter the "camouflage" menu every time you need to change your outfit really takes away from the tension of the stealth action. This same type of issue is apparent with the first aid feature as well. I found during the boss battles I would have to pause the game to go to the "cure" menu and administer first aid nearly every other time a boss successfully attacked.

In closing, Snake Eater is definitely the best looking title in the MGS series (and maybe the PS2). Is it the better than the MGS first released on the PSOne or rereleased on the Gamecube? Probably not. Will you buy it because it is the latest Metal Gear Solid title? Probably.